Friday, November 26, 2010

una semana

Time goes so incredibly fast... i dont know if it´s just here, or everywhere. in 7 days ill be home with my family. Im so thankful, but also very sad to leave Casa Hogar. This being my 3rd year, i feel as if the kids and Casa hogar are a part of me. God has been so gracious in allowing me to be here this long, to survive 6 months, to keep me healthy, to keep me sane and loving the kids and Mexico. He has protected me, strengthened me, and has only made my desire to be here even stronger. Dont think that im not excited about being back though. I know that my time is up, my support account is running out :) and God wants me to be home. ... and i think my arthritis will kill me if i dont come home in 7 days.

So i ended up having the 2 little girls an extra 8 days and i was so thankful for those precious days. again,... it was difficult, stressful, funny and tiring.. but i love those girls and enjoyed being able to care for them. not that i cant care for them even now... but its different because im not tecnically in charge of them anymore.

Tomorrow will be my last saturday, ,... my last time going to be the beach with all the kids. I think the older girls and i will go out for tacos tomorrow night. Today we helped put up a (fake) tree in the office and decorate for xmas! that was a lot of fun it made me get into the christmas spirit when i saw the flashing lights. Yes i know thats not what Christmas is about :) but it did make me excited and thankful that i was going to be able to pass xmas with the fam, buy a tree, decorate, make cookies... etc. I do hope to spend christmas in Casa hogar some year though:)

right now as i think about leaving i need prayer that God will put my fears at ease. that i will know deeply that the Lord is taking care of the kids, that He is always watching over Casa Hogar. I hate to leave.... not that my role here is doing so much, but i do pray that the God sends someone to watch over these girls and boys. That He sends someone to love them. I want these kids, more than anything, to know how loved they are by me, by the other workers, and mostly by Jesus-and that the love of Jesus actually changes their hearts, lives and decisions each day.

thank yall so so much for supporting me. i hope im not talking (writing) to myself here.. becasue i hope that yall know im very appreciative of people that give of their time and money to see the kigdom of God grow.. thats what i hope and pray is happening at Casa Hogar. Thank you again and p`lease pray for my last week to be a sweet time. Pray that i dont get too sad, that the traveling back goes well, .. but mainly continue to pray for Casa Hogar and the kids.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

less than a month

Being here this long has been such a blessing. It´s been the most tiring, wonderful, painful and amazing 5 months. I dont really know what i do day in and day out.... when the night comes and the bell rings sometimes i try to think back on the day.. what was i doing all these hours?? where did the time go??
These past few weeks have been spent on talking to kids, playing, running, jumping, biting, hugging, calming  the fighting boys, taking all the little ones for a walk and to the beach, saving baby kittens, getting gum out of hair.. etc. you name it.

Also, since tuesday i have been in charge of Beth and Elsa ( the two 4 year olds). Wow. It´s very different being in charge and responsable for everything they do. Its mostly different because I dont get to play play with the 8-9 year olds as much since im constantly looking after the little ones. Every day is different with them.. every minute is so unpredictable, their attitudes are so flip floppy that i never know if one second they are going to cry or laugh. Getting them to sit and eat (without crying and pitching a fit) has definitly been the most difficult thing. But like i said, every day is different. One day it will pass that they both are crazy and crying, and we all spend an hour staring at the food-untill they suddenly decide to stuff it all down in 5 seconds and then they walk out like little princesses as they dry their tears.
Its also been a lot of fun. I love waking them up in the morning, getting them ready for school, doing their hair, seeing them off, being there when they get back, doing chores with them, playing, reading, napping, brushing teeth, pj´s, praying. I love the night when they are super content and we all read (their attention span is about 3 minutes) then they each pray and i pray. I love them so much and I hate to leave them . But they are definitly anything but little princesses. They fight constantly, hit, take things, tell on eachother, and throw incredibly dramatic temper tantroms. They need so much love... just like every child, and im very blessed to have this time to love them.
I do ask for tons of prayer as i still try to love on all the other little ones. It´s so tough loving kids all the time. ...and sometimes my patience runs so thin, some times my body cant take any more, and sometimes (I hate to say it) but i dont care enough to talk, discipline, or love.
*just a side note -This whole experience just within thesepast few days has made me insanely thankful for my mom. Its made me realize how much it takes to be a mom, how much she has, and how much i was/am ungrateful at times for the love she gave/gives me. and shes not done loving me, my siblings, her grandkids, and the foster kids she and dad care for. *
Sometimes i think im ready to ¨be a mom¨.. but i am soo lacking in the love, maturity, patience, and care that it takes to be a mom. But  i do love them all individually for specific reasons. they all have their little ¨bichos¨or ¨stuff¨about them,... but i love them and i need to rest and believe that Jesus is fighting for them and loves them more than i do.
theres a lot more to write... ill be around tomorrow ¨resting¨ (haha) till the little girls get back from school so i might be able to make it over to the computer again. please keep praying. Thank you all for the constant love, thoughts and prayers. >Ill be back soon.